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i don't mind if you don't mind
2007-03-21, 11:08 p.m.

I guess it's a good thing that once I get to the school to do my observation, I feel like staying all day. Today I went to go see Melanie's College Prep juniors (who are, and I quote, "the ones who don't do their homework"), and it turned out they were taking a test that day. But actually, test-taking is a really interesting thing to observe. I got to do the ominous teacher-walk around the classroom and read some of the kids' in-class essays over their shoulders and generally be intimidating without actually being a teacher yet. Then I stayed for unit lunch, where some of her 8th graders came in to do extra work on a "public service announcement" they were asked to do by the district. They were really fun to talk to and work with, and it was interesting to see the two different aspects of a classroom: the bureaucratic, let's-grade-stuff part, and the cooperative, supervised group work. I want to go in for a whole day sometime--maybe next week.

The worst part was driving there myself--I got so lost that I ended up arriving a half an hour late. Well, it wasn't so much that I got lost than I completely missed this one street, 3 TIMES. Seriously, Anonymous County In Which My Co-op School Is Located. Get with the times and LABEL YOUR STREETS. And stop having them like, hidden behind churches and stuff. Jesus Christ.

But now I definitely know how to get there, and honestly, it's kind of exciting to be lost and to have to try to guess your way out of wherever you are. It's just not so great to be lost when you have to be at a certain place on time. In fact, on my way home, when I knew I didn't have to be anywhere at a certain time, I felt so good about the visit and about the day that I purposely veered off of my Mapquest-suggested path and did a little victory-car dance when I ended up finding my way back to school. My school. College (tm).

Don't worry, I don't do that all the time--only when I'm feeling particularly cocky.

But anyway. Let's abandon the subject of my weirdness. And turn our attention to an equally frustrating subject,

AMERICAN IDOL.

(du nu nu nu nu nu nu nu)

(that was my blog attempt at the theme song.)

(i'm sorry.)

I've been personally invested in the show long enough to start talking about it in here.

WHY IS SANJAYA EVEN THERE?

Can't a producer be like, oh, oh no, whoops, it looks like suddenly, all of Sanjaya's phone votes have mysteeeriously been deleted. OHWELLIGUESSHEHASTOGO. Whyyy. I know there are more important things happening in this world than AI, but I just had to get my frustrations out.

The one-year anniversary of the disappearance and death of John Fiocco is coming up this week, and today in the school paper there was a 4-page insert about it. It was very, very tastefully done, and made me really pensive. I hadn't realized how very much that tragedy shaped me. But I also feel like I've grown so much since then. As you can probably remember, I had a lot of intense feelings about it, and in trying to look back, it's all getting sort of muddled together. I think I need a couple days to collect my thoughts.

Things are starting to come together in my life a little, for the better, on certain fronts. I remember how insecure I was last year about... basically everything. I thought I had like, forgotten how to be myself and what "myself" even was, and now I feel like that was all sort of bullshit and it was just a shitty time where I wasn't meeting a lot of good people. But I've begun to feel sort of Mary-Tyler-Moore-ish, like oh! I'm an independent woman! I can do most things I set my mind to, and I can be myself and be pleasant and interesting with nearly anyone I meet! You're gonna maaake it after all! ::throws knit cap::

Um. On that note. I have to go to sleep. Heh. Goodniiiight

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