there is a chocolate sandwich cookie inside the box above my head
2006-11-04, 11:14 p.m.
I have been at a loss with things to write about lately. Things happen, I just always imagine that relaying the Things will somehow use up huge stores of energy. So I watch Family Guy instead, or eat some chips.
Today is no different--I could talk about what I did today and catch this diary up on the things that have happened since like, 2 weeks ago when I last wrote in here, buuuuuuuut I can't seem to work up the energy to pull words out of the air. So I'm gonna pull some words out of someone else's blog. Yes. That's right. When all else, fails, TAKE A SURVEY!! Wooo hoooooooooooooooooooo!
IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend your cool...
My Life: The Movie
Opening Credits:
"Gangsta's Paradise," UPenn Off the Beat (::inhales:: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)
Waking Up:
"Kiss Me," Sweeney Todd 2005 Revival (meh?)
First Day At School:
The "Dog Show" skit, SNL (whhhhhattttt)
Falling In Love:
"Drink With Me," Les Miserable Original Broadway Cast (this is not working out as I'd hoped) (awesome song, though)
Fight Song:
"Gravity," John Mayer Trio (yeah, slow motion, sexy seductive fight, maybe)
Breaking Up:
"Family Tree," Ben Kweller (not. so much.)
Prom:
"Like Father, Like Son," Aida Original Broadway Cast Recording (alright. I'm thinking of abandoning this project.)
Life's OK:
"Never Never Land," Jane Monheit (Aw. that is a good one. Good job, mp3 player)
Mental Breakdown:
"Dirrty," Ironic Hanson Version ( LOLOLOLOLOLOL)
Driving:
"Ugg-a-Wugg," Peter Pan Original Broadway Cast Recording (yeeeeeeeeeeahok. Maybe appropriate in terms of the rage that would result from the outright stereotyping in this song)
Flashback:
"Lullaby of Birdland," Ella Fitzgerald (I do have quite a few memories involving this song)
Getting Back Together:
"There's Always Someone Cooler Than You," Ben Folds (meh.)
Wedding:
"11:11," Rufus Wainwright (no.)
Birth of Child:
"Mario Bros. Supershow Theme Song." (WHAT. THE FUCK.)
Death Scene:
"Keep It Together," Guster (I should try to really construct a death scene around this song. It wouldn't be hard.)
Funeral Song:
"She's Always A Woman," Billy Joel (::is thinking about the funeral scene in Garden State::) (::is laughing::) (::is still laughing::)
(::still laughing::)
End Credits:
"Gonna Fly Now (Theme From Rocky" HAH!!!!!!! AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!
***
Weeeell. Thaaaaat. Was anticlimactic. Although I totally am in love with the opening and end credits songs. I couldn't have picked better myself.
So today I was SuperHermit and stayed in my room reading, working, and watching TV, leaving only to do my laundry and fetch some snacks from the food store (which I then ate ALONE). But it's not so bad. I enjoy my solitude. I figure it's just preparation for my future as Crazy Cat Lady. I have actually not yet integrated the cats into this lifestyle, although I am trying to figure out how to smuggle 5 fully grown felines into the building without attracting any attention. Or at least 5 fully grown hamsters. We'll see about that.
Here, I wrote some poetry. Forgive me, sundry. Imitation is indeed the sincerest form or flattery. Or at least the sincerest cure of writer's block.
Multiple Verses on a Freshman Year
First Impressions
Hello, hello, hello
I am your new roommate
Do you like movies? Me too!
Do you like bananas? Me neither!
We�re gonna be best friends!
No,
Wait,
Please don�t use my bed
To drip-dry
Your laundry.
Dear Floor
Dear Floor,
DDR at 2 am
Is not appropriate.
Blasting death metal at 2 am
Is not appropriate.
Loud, apparently acrobatic sex at 2 am
Is not appropriate.
Are we
seeing a
pattern
here??
Love, Melissa
Haiku
at the dining hall
flies dead on the cookie tray
that is just plain wrong.
This is where you belong
So what if I have just
Failed my midterm?
The world feels ablaze
With buttery light
That stretches my shadow lean
Across the brick-lined train-track sidewalk.
My twin specter collides with and melts seamlessly
Into the black, solid silhouettes
Of the Georgian-fa�ade mountainside
As if to remind me:
This is where you belong
evening prayers
I
Will
Attack
Someone
With
A
Hammer
If
We
Have
Another
Goddamn
FIRE DRILL.
My Least Favorite Campus Employee
This card is not
coated in a lethal substance.
I have not flipped you off. There is
no need to make that face.
I am
handing you my I.D.
to pay for my dinner.
Jesus Christ.
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