there is a pumpkin pie inside the box above my head
2006-11-19, 10:24 p.m.

Thanksgiving is so close, OH SO VERY VERY CLOSE, and that of course means only one thing. Turkey? Familytimes? Showing gratitude for all the good things that have transpired in the past year?

Well, yes. But no.

What it really means is that Christmas is right around the corner, and you know what THAT MEANS!!!

(More turkey? Happy Birthday, Jesus? Christmas music? Christmas movies? Surrounding oneself with loved ones? Goodwill towards man? Yes, yes, of course, okay?? But mostly,)
PRESENTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Speaking of outright materialism and the mania which inevitably follows, have you SEEN the new "hot toy" for 2006, the toy that's supposedly certain to cause slapfights in Toys 'R' Us-es all over the country, TMX Elmo????? What the HELL is this toy?

I'm SERIOUS! Who would buy a toy whose purpose is actually to ACT POSSESSED. Not since the Furby have I seen a mechanical spaz this frightening. In the third "phase" he looks like he's about to start projectile vomiting split pea soup. And then there's the fact Elmo as a cute, cuddly puppet has been forever tarnished thanks to effing OPRAH. Her and her damn exposes. Did I NEED to know that Elmo's voice is really a fully grown--nay, downright middle-aged--DUDE? I mean, to hear that voice coming from the mouth of a human being.... Now I'm imagining that black guy standing in a recording booth, laughing maniacally over and over again and shrieking "THAT TICKLES!" in order to get the PERFECT take .... I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

I'm definitely going to have nightmares tonight.

Oops, anyway, that was a HUGE digression... all I really wanted to say was that what I want for Christmas A LOT this year is a betta fish. Dr. Venturo, My Brit Lit teacher, hands down my favorite professor so far in college, has a betta fish, and talks about it like it's another child, and all I really want in life is to own a Siamese Fighting Fish and keep it in a glass vasein my room and name it David Venturo, Jr.

Oh, and The Kids In the Hall Complete Series DVD Set.

And The Complete Works of Lewis Carroll.

And Ethan Hawke, cerca 1989, the year he played Todd Anderson in Dead Poets Society, which by the way, I FINALLY watched, and it was so ridiculously good, and I nearly cried, if only because it made my future job out to be so heroic and noble, and yet so complicated and difficult, and I have to believe that my career will be as fulfilling as that movie makes it seem.

HAHA I have South Park on in the background and this episode is spoofing on Red Dragon and a lot of other serial killer movies. Ahhhhh serial killer movies. I know it's really weird that I like them so much. Nearly all of my favorite movies involve serial killers (or, alternately, supernatural phenomena), which makes it really hard to buy cute posters for my dorm room. I haven't seen a good one in quite a while. What's the deal? Also, according to like, every English major and English professor I've ever met, I'm supposed to watch and totally LOVE The Godfather, which I suppose I will do eventually.

Ahem. Anyway.

What was I talking about?

Ah, screw it. Let's do a fun re-cap of the weekend. Yayyy

On Friday night I went to the mall with Linds and Lell and, as always, had a bunch of good times (apparently we have "modern technology" to thank for that, according to Linds), and then we hung out and I nearly killed myself choking on an Oreo. Yup. Just. Like. Old. Times.

Yesterday I, um, woke up? Other things happened, and then I went to my sister's recital, which was looooong and squeeaakkkyy (so... many... violins...), but then we ate dinner at the Macaroni Grill, where we had a really good waiter whose hand was injured and bandaged, and I kinda wanted to ask why and get ma Flurt Uon, feisty Latina style, but I was, cough, with my family, cough, so I didn't. Suuuucks.

Today I stayed home from church to write an essay that's not very good, but now I'm HOME FREEEEE 'til Thanksgiving break starts! Yayyyyy. Also, I watched the Food Network Extreme PIE Competition, and some dude made a freaking ONION pie, which sounds so wrong (and according to the judges, tastes so wrong, as well). I mean, come on. It's pie. Don't go adding root vegetables to a typically fruit-filled dessert. If it ain't broke, don't fix it, yaknowwha'msaaaaaain?

Mmmm, pie. I hope someone brings a pie to Thanksgiving this year.

Ah yes, Thanksgiving. Now we are back where we started. That's the way (uh huh, uh huh) I like it. On that note, I'm a-going to bed. A-thank you.

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